The job I'm quitting has a server farm at a data center. This place is like a mini Fort Knox. They use biometric handscanners as their means of validating access for any given door. You enter your ID code, place your hand in the scanner and if it matches, the door unlocks and you continue on.

Sounds great, right? Except that I, Bug Magnet am

(Sung in Nat King Cole voice)

Unscannable ... that's what I am Unscannable ... either side of my hand Yes the bug magnet clings to me puts obstacles in front of me never before has someone been so

Unscannable ... in every way and forever more, that's how I'll stay I'll tell ya, it's incredible that danged machine thinks I'm unscannable I didn't need that access anyways...