Beauty and Love starts within

I often wax poetic about my love life, the women that have been in my life, my inability to be very intimate, but at the same time be very passionate.

My close friends tell me I am very intimate, very handsome, thing too much, all that stuff but I think, for me, until I look inside and believe it myself, I won’t find that true connection.

I think taking care of oneself, both physically, emotionally is a strong sign of the place that person is in. Eating for comfort, staying up too late playing games, getting behind in work are all signs that my soul is still searching and is overly anxious.

I’ve done the therapy route and it helped somethings, like my anxiety at some level (I actually had fingernails before Matt and Roslynn’s wedding) but then I stopped the meds and went back to picking them.

So now I am trying to be more responsible to myself. No, I am not saying I can “just do it,” but I am going to see how much I can do if I really care about myself and work hard at it.

That means drinking my water daily, doing my stretches, practicing my TKD even though I am missing lessons, making healthy decisions.

Eating is the hardest one – I am so damn addicted to convenience food. I don’t want to cook a healthy meal every day and do the shopping. Sigh. I’ve tried 100 times to replace this with that and I always end up in the same boat.

However, this 60lbs must go before I hit 40. I’m not sure how I am going to accomplish it, but I think remaining aware of my actions and why I am doing things is a good place to start.

When Sophie ships, a month after my 40th birthday next year, I plan to be in a much better space and we’ll see what I am posting on at that time. šŸ™‚

1 comment

  1. My father has tried a wide variety of the fad diets of late and none of them got him anywhere. I’ve been a vegetarian (vegan to varying degree) for a decade now, but besides that I have been consciously focusing on my diet in ways other than the elimination of flesh for those ten years. I can’t claim to have achieved anything near perfection (a diet will only work when it’s properly supported by one’s lifestyle, history and willpower), but my general principle of avoiding refined grains and sugars while eating five or six smaller meals a day has kept my weight reasonably stable over the last five or so years. I’m not sure how our lifestyles compare as far as hectic activity levels are concerned, but I’d recommend something akin to my personal diet to just about anyone. Anyway, my father finally started accepting my way of looking at diet and nutrition (albeit in his own way–which is the right approach) and has managed to get his weight down. Of course he still fluctuates, but I know he was able to lose 35 or so pounds last spring. Feel free to send me an e-mail if you’re curious.

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