Blue Screen of Death in the Movie Theater:

Microsoft to drive digital movie theaters

A sad, sad day. Excuse me, my movie crashed, I want a refund? And about those MS ads you allow to be shown before every movie, screw you too!

“We’re sorry, but you must have a Microsoft Passport account to enter this movie theater”

“Bill Gates thanks you for coming, enjoy the show.”

“Your attendance has helped ensure the continued monopolization of the tech sector by Microsoft. We thank you! Enjoy the show, and no, those are not digitally inserted subliminal messages.”

“Pick up your Bill Gates bobble head at the snack counter, free with any upgrade to Windows 2003”

“Would you like butter on your Pentium?”

“Thank you for your patronage at Landmark Theaters. The show will begin shortly. Scanning for Viruses. You are infected. Please leave the theater in an orderly fashion.”

“Hey you, Mr. Jobs! Outta the theater!” — Webdog

and the coup de grace:

“In case of emergency, please find the Start door to exit.”


  1. We have detected a technical problem with your movie. Please reinstall the movie to continue.

    Thank you for coming to watch the movie. You must now reboot to continue.

    The application ‘movie’ is not responding. End Now? Continue waiting for hell to freeze over?

    There are critical updates available for ‘movie.’ Installing them may actually permit movie to play.

    There are insufficient system resources available to play ‘movie.’ Charging your credit card to upgrade system to allow ‘movie’ to play.

    The disk, ‘movie’ cannot be read. Click OK to format…

    Who do we want you to be today?

  2. “Welcome to MS Theatre. Automatic Updates are available.”

    “Please enter registration code before sitting down.”

    “Thank you for visiting MS Theatre. Seats are available only to those with the Professional version of their membership.”

    Lights go down, curtain opens, you start to see machine boot up on the screen and then…blue screen of death. Then you hear the voice of the computer from “War Games.” “How about a game of chess?”

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