Where have I been?

Hello friends and family,

I know I have not posted much about where I have been and what i have been doing. Work has been good, but not up to my standard of par, so I am grappling with that now.

My personal life has been emotional and fulfilling. I am on Lexapro now, seeing how that works. I have been looking for a shrink with an open schedule here in Portland – hard to find. I mainly just want to talk about my decision making, fears and anxiety and get them under control once and for all.

Dating has been wild – I’ve been seeing someone whose business card reads “I am the woman your mother warned you about.” We’re not really dating (heh) because I think there are too many life level differences between us, but she is really intelligent and well, fun.

I’ve also been going out with some new friends, getting to know people, as I think that it is good to just live life, be open and honest and see who steps up. I’m hoping I step up to my own plate one of these days, I deserve to do that for myself.

I have a list of fun activities to do next month – Mainly painting pottery, I have a gift to make for Maggie and Sarah’s marriage and I want to get some plants in the house. I need a long watering wand, but I’d like to paint some colorful pots to put the plants in, give it some personal touch.

Julie and I went to Saturday market on, well, Saturday (is open on Sunday too). I bought a couple of tiny coin purses. I think I’ll buy more as gifts. Why didn’t I do this 20 years ago. So much easier to control my coinage instead of loose in the pocket. What a world we live in. Some tribe member in Africa who carries his bones or whatever currency he uses around in a pouch is reading this on his satellite link thinking “No shit, Steve.”

I’ve been thinking I have a ton of friends to contact. I want to get up to Seattle and see Erik, JJ and Andrew. I miss them. I have not talked to Karyn since her baby was born. Hmm, another gift.

I’m going to LA this weekend to see some Matchmaker.com buddies and go to Disneyland on Sunday and Monday. I spent a lot of money for a single dude.

I made a new friend, Debbie last week. She lives 3 mins from me and likes video games. What a cool woman. Her sister is even a geek. If I have not screwed that one up, I hope to hang out with them more. I say some questionable things at times. [Insert African dude again]

I can’t wait to see my folks this weekend – Dad’s health ain’t so hot. If you smoke, stop. Don’t be a fool. My god. And I’ll stop eating crap and be more healthy, too. Deal?

I watched “Secretary” last night. Is a dark BDSM flick and whoof, if you are into that, check it out. If you are not into it, check it out. Is interesting. Can just see Matt and Mom watching this one. ROFL.

Oh I am going to move my office into my family area, probably next week. More room, I can spread out more, and concentrate the office on storage and the bow flex. Will be in the AC room so the G5 will stay nice and cool. No idea if/when I will get a G5. I have hardware lust, but when it equates to one month’s pay (pre tax) I can be patient.

The Shimmin’s were here for 3 days a couple of weeks ago. I loved having them and visiting with the kids. I was sore for days. This pony is getting old, hehe. Rental kids are awesome. I don’t think I’ll have any of my own, I don’t have the energy for it, certainly not at the moment, but I do love em. I’m a spoiler and a pamperer I am learning.

I’m getting tired of picking my nails – been doing it since I can remember. Is anxiety and fear I am told. So I got some hard as nails to give me something to do with them other than pick them – I know the pain helps different chemicals flow better, but I hope in combination with meds, just pampering myself might be enough to break the habit. A 30+ year habit will be hard to break.

Well I guess that is about it for me. Onward and upward!


  1. I enjoyed reading your letter. You’re a neat guy. I hope — I believe — you will find what you’re looking for.

    ~ Dub

  2. how fortunate am i to have met such an honest, intelligent, caring, funny, sincere, & obviously loving new friend? i give thanks to whoever invented the internet and MM chat for affording me the opportunity to transcend space & time in this day & age! what a wonderful world in which we live!!!


Comments are closed.